The man you see in this photo is me, but a very different version of the man I am today.
A very self-conscious man, whose entire identity was tied to a role within a Fortune 500 company! Why did I take that photo? I wanted to portray an image – look at me flying business class, wearing a Hugo Boss suit jacket, whilst sipping on Champagne.
I was imprisoned in my own mind – not fulfilled but handcuffed to a job through fear! Fear of not being ‘enough’. Fear not being worthy without a fancy job within a big company.
I had what many young people would’ve given so much for – yet I was sitting on that plane not enjoying it, but thinking about what I could ‘show’ others.
Honestly, those business trips to Houston were so fucking lonely! I’d come back to my fancy hotel room and be super lonely, but of course, nobody on social media would’ve known.
If you’re doing a job that you hate, but the status is holding you to it – don’t let it control you! I was so scared of quitting my job. But now that I’ve done it, I don’t know why I was so scared! I’ve removed the handcuffs and freed myself to build a life FOR ME! We’re the designers of our life, and we should build a life for us – one that we believe is important and fulfilling.
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I returned from my run this morning feeling good – full of belief and optimism. However, it didn’t take long before anxiety and worry started to fill my mind. My brain is in overdrive, constantly trying to figure out what I want to do next – but it seems the more I try, the busier … Continue reading 8th Dec 21 – An anxiety filled morning
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